just kidding

Ignoble Award. in whose name?

Dear editor:

I was surprised and disappointed to read in the last issue of "The Institute" that the Ig-Nobel prize, which is given every year to the worst research in the world, is named, so to speak, after Ignatius Nobel, the inventor of soda water ("jumping water"), who also claims some kind of family relationship to Alfred Nobel. This story is a complete lie and has nothing to do with the historical truth.

The truth is that the Ig-Nobel Prize is named after the Norwegian multi-billionaire Alfred Ignobel who got rich from the production of Igneshk weapons (weapons that do not work, but only enrich their manufacturers) and selling them mainly to friars.

Alfred Ignoble was born in the corner of the exits in his parents' igloo in the northern town of Beit-Uzrah, where he also finished his studies at the local university. In the first deal that made him rich, he sold bullets made of chocolate to the Serbian army. The defeat suffered by the Serbs at the hands of the Bulgarians was commemorated in Bernard Shaw's well-known opera, "The Chocolate Soldier", but Bernard Shaw for some unknown reason refrained from mentioning Ignoval's part in this great defeat.

Ignoval made most of his fortune from the development, production and sale of nuclear weapons. This secret development project was conducted in Baraigloch in Argentina. Recently, the reports of various intelligence agencies are multiplying, according to which Ignoval's scientists are currently engaged in various researches in igbiology, and especially in the attempt to develop cold nuclear missile technology. According to these reports, Ignoval scientists have a 50% success rate (all scientists have cooled down, but so far have not been able to perform a nuclear misoig).

I hope that in the future you will be more careful about the description of historical facts in your journal, and especially, that you will not play into the hands of imposters like Ignatius Noble. Ig-history can be rewritten.

Sincerely,

Prof. Zvi Lipkin
Faculty of Physics
Weitzman Institution of Science