Roi Cezana explains why he fears that his grandmother will have to find another goal in life after she fulfills her current goal - to attend her grandson's wedding
In my family there is an age-old custom, to have a big and sociable lunch every Friday, and everyone who comes is welcome. The parents, uncles, grandmothers and also the grandfathers, when they were still alive. In more religious families, it is customary to start the meal with a short prayer at best, or with fire, brimstone and morals at worst. But with us another tradition is accepted, in which every unbeliever is as if he hit the plantings and shot the foxes. Only one sentence stands at the center of the tradition, and it is well savored by my grandmother, the elder of the tribe, when she directs her words directly to me.
"Well, Rui'ka, when will I get grandchildren from you?" That's what my grandmother asks, may you have a long life. And if she forgets, God forbid, the tradition, you can count on my younger brothers to jump with a big smile of joy to Eid, and remind her that Roy is still living in sin, and not even the end of Nin can be seen in the field.
"You'll see great-grandchildren when I get married." I try to dodge nonchalantly. "You don't want grandchildren without marriage, do you?"
"God forbid, God forbid," laments my grandmother, as if the Third Temple was destroyed even before the renovation work began on Shabbat. "But what if something happens to me before you get married, Roy'ka? I'm not young anymore, you know!”
"What does it matter, young or not young. Don't worry, grandma, nothing will happen to you before the wedding."
"Who says?"
Back in the day, I would be left without an answer to the question. But luckily for me, this past week I was exposed to a new study conducted on seniors, and it may demonstrate why I am so confident that my grandmother will get to dance at my wedding. The results of the study, published in the journal 'Psychosomatic Medicine', prove that elderly people who feel that there is a purpose to their lives, have a significantly lower mortality risk.
Dr. Patricia Boyle, from the Rash-Alzheimer's Disease Center, examined over 1,200 elderly people, all of them with a clear mind, and documented how they see their lives now and in the future. During the five years following the study, approximately 151 of the participants died of various causes. When the researchers tried to establish the contexts that contributed to the chance of dying during the five years of the study, one factor immediately leaped into their eyes: the connection between a purpose in life, and the risk of dying during the study period.
Out of all the questions the elderly were asked at the beginning of the study, three were linked to a particularly high level with increasing the risk of mortality. It turns out that the risk of early death goes up, if you agree with the following statements: "Sometimes I feel like I've done everything there is to do in life." "I used to set goals for myself, but now it seems like a waste of time." and "My daily activities usually seem trivial and unimportant to me."
In summary, after adjusting the results to the other relevant parameters such as age, gender, education and origin, the researchers determined that a person with a purpose in life had a half as low chance of dying during the study period, compared to a person without a purpose. The connection between a purpose in life and mortality is also maintained in men and women, whites and blacks, depressed, physically disabled, neurotic and those with different incomes. We are all, it turns out, human.
This was the reason why I was so sure that my grandmother would get to lead the rumba train in the opening wedding dance, or at least cheer from the sidelines. She is a woman with many goals in life, but one of the biggest ones is clear: to marry me sooner or later. Indeed, I took my time. Why not? After all, every additional minute that I am not in-law, added another grain to the hourglass of her life.
And so, last Saturday, when the final decision settled in my heart, I couldn't help but think twice and even three times. And when I got down on my knees, took out the ring, and asked the one who loved my soul to spend the rest of her life by my side, I couldn't avoid thinking about Grandma, and hoping that she would find herself - quickly - a new purpose in life.
22 תגובות
Cool loloooo!!!!!
Congratulations!
: )
And in order to fill the goal bank even more, we can also talk about the wedding of the great-grandchildren.
If you want a really long-term goal, then the goal of marrying El Niño with La Niña can be suitable.
Rui'ka
I always knew I had someone to trust!
I wish you and Gali good and happy days
and promises to lead the rumba train in the opening wedding dance
And also the pseudobella dance that closes the event.
Kisses, love grandma
And the next goals are of course to marry the other grandchildren
Amen yes, God willing!
Thanks again. To all the congratulators - on the website, in messages and face-to-face.
Uncle, I'm sure we'll meet sooner or later, and we'll exchange witness customs and affections.
Good week to you all,
Roy.
------
my new blog - Another science
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
And as usual excellent writing. A wonderful person.
Congratulations.
Nice how you combined research knowledge with personal knowledge.
Roy, congratulations.
I wish you and your partner health, vitality and happiness.
And what a lovely list you have. On the first occasion I see you I will not be able to avoid pinching you in the back of the neck, in the manner of Govrin Yehudain of my community. A pinch, accompanied by a violent jerk of the back of the neck, is evidence and a sign of deep affection.
Thanks friends. Thank you for participating happily.
Yossi, thanks for the correct correction. I changed accordingly.
Gola, this is a good question. I have a feeling that the relationship between setting goals and an active life is two-way, and it's hard to say which comes first.
------
my new blog - Another science
Congratulations Roy!
The question is, is setting goals a virtue for prolonging life, or is continuing an active life and daily activation of the brain the right remedy? There are quite a few studies showing that people who exercise their brains even in old age have a lower risk of dementia. Does setting goals help these people too?
Roy, first of all, good luck to you.
It seems a bit ironic to me, that it is you - one of the leading (in my opinion) "knowledgeable" on the site - who works on a site that fights the lies that religion tells humanity uses the phrase 'man'. 🙂
Good luck! (And luckily, for those who believe...)
I once heard of a study on a similar topic (it was conducted, if I'm not mistaken, in a nursing department of a nursing home), which found that even growing a pot, or deciding the time of meals yourself, significantly affects the mortality rate.
Roy Tsenza, are you in the faculty of nanotechnology or the faculty of nanotechnology?
I recommend to those who are interested in the idea and the field to read "Man seeks meaning" by Viktor Frankl, who developed a psychological approach based on giving meaning and purpose.
Let's start with a big congratulations.
We will continue, "small", with a mathematical correction. You wrote: "A person with a purpose in his life was half as likely to die during the study period, compared to a person without a purpose." If the risk is low, then it should be twice as low. If you use "half" then it is better to write the sentence you wrote without the word "low" and then everything is correct.
Lack of purpose in life: Is this just another name for depression?
Congratulations, be happy
First of all, congratulations!
Second, thanks for the news about the study. My grandmother - my great-grandmother, 95 years old, has been saying for many years that she expects to see children from one of her grandchildren, who has been married for 24 years without children. I have been claiming for years that it simply gives her a reason to live, so thank you for confirming my claim with this research!
Congratulations 🙂